Yes! Abolish marriage! Muwhahahaha!

Marriage equality = the end of all marriage. Outrageous! (Yessss!) What next? The 32 hour work week? Universal healthcare? Free college educations for everyone? Well, we must start small, and Kern County is just the place for it:

“One county is taking this ‘no more marriages’ thing quite literally – and it’s shameful.

“‘Kern County Clerk Ann Barnett has announced that her office will stop performing all weddings a few days before June 17, the date that same-sex couples can legally apply for marriage licenses.’

“‘Barnett’s staff processes marriage licenses for hundreds of Kern County residents each year and it will continue to do, for both straight and gay couples, beginning June 17 as required by law, she said in a written statement. But as of June 13, the staff will no longer officiate at civil ceremonies for an extra $30 fee.’

“Officials cited financial reasons for the decision. But internal memos between a high-ranking official in Barnett’s office and a conservative Christian legal defense fund, published in the Bakersfield Californian this week, indicate that Barnett may have acted on principle rather than for financial reasons.

“As long as Barnett is officiating no marriages instead of only straight ones, it’s not discriminatory. And the same goes for the state, according to the most honest reading of the relevant statutes.

“The idiots who think they’re defending marriage by trying to narrow its definition to one man and one woman are actually trying to do nothing but eliminate it.”
Marriage Equality: The end of marriage?, by David Dayen, Calitics, June 10, 2008

No marriage for anyone! Muwhahahaha! Then who will those married men cheat on? I ask you.

Feh, if one must get married, just get married in some other county. Or someone do Justice of the Peace Winnebagos, for God’s sake. Why must I think of these things?

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