“1. Solomones Songz of Songz, kthx.
“2. Let him kiss me wit da kissus of hiz mouf– for yer love be moar delitefool den cheezbugers. Srsly.
“3. Yu has a smell I likez; yer name is like smellz poorded out. Deh oter sluts luv yu too!
“4. Take me wit yu plz, come on! Letz go! the king bringme into hiz chamburz, k?
“We rejoice and delite in yu, we wil praiz ur luv more den cheezburgers, rly!
“Dey be okayz to adore yu!
“5. I am teh dark, but I be pritty. Oh doters of Jehroosahlum, dark liked the tentses of Kedar, like teh tent curtains of Solomon. Yus, I beez dark.
“6. Do notz stare at meez cause i beez dark, becuz i be darkeneded by teh sun. Dat jus mean. no rly, stop staring! My moters sons beez angry wif me and maded me do werk in teh vineyahds, but that maded me not look afta mah own vineyahd. Dey were meanz.
“7. Hey yu! Yeh, teh wun I luv, where yu grazed yur flockz and wherez yu bring yer lazy sheepz at lunch time. Why shood I be like teh veiled woman next to teh flockz of yer friendz?”
Song of Solomon 1, From LOLCat Bible Translation Project, (via Professor Delong)
Words, real ones, simply fail me.