So! I just finished Netflixing the Lord of the Rings trilogy and here is what I thought:
The Fellowship of the Ring
Mmmmmm, Viggo Mortenson. Great action. Loved the Mines of Moria.
The Two Towers
Mmmmmm, Karl Urban. Great action. Battle of Helms Deep was awesome. I did get some cgi fatigue.
Return of the King
What is this Arwen elf girlie bullshit? Lady Eowyn should have been Queen of Gondor. While Arwen was laying around Rivendale dying of evil, Arwen was actually in armor fighting it. She and Merry brought down an elephant thing all by themselves, she threw a spear that was bigger than she was, she fucking CUT THE HEAD OFF a giant flying dragon, and then killed the Witch King BY HERSELF (okay, Merry gave her the break she needed, but still). And she looked great the whole time. Now that’s Queen of Gondor material! Their marriage would also unite the kingdoms of Gondor and Rohan. And Aragon would have a really cool brother-in-law, too. But who does he choose? Arwen. Figures.
Fuuuck. If I ran the circus…